Baby Blues
by LittleMewLugia
Summary: Ash and his friends, and Jessie, and James end up in a situation that gives them one common goalkill Butch and Cassidy!


Baby Blues

DISCLAIMER: These get sillier, I know. But I don't mean to tread on any toes, and I don't make any money from this, so

please let my twisted imaginings cavort in the wonderful world of Pokémon.

SYNOPSIS: Ash and his friends, and Jessie, and James end up in a situation that gives them one common goal-kill Butch and

Cassidy!

BABY BLUES.

Ash and his friends were just leaving the latest city, with bulging food bags and a full stomach. Pikachu was fast asleep on Ash's

rucksack, his own full stomach adding several pounds to Ash's load. Not that Ash minded. His spirits were high because he'd

made some more friends in the town, who were determined to spread the news about his quest, all good news of course,

which may well help his reputation.

His good mood was shattered by a high pitched "Prepare for trouble!" from up ahead.

"And make it double." came a lower voice. Ash was about to say something when Brock voiced the same thought.

"We've heard it all before. Let's skip the posturing and get down to business!"

"We hadn't finished!" said Jessie, the pink-haired fiery tempered female Rocket Ash had seen before.

"We know it all!" said Misty. "What do you want?"

James, the blue-haired well-bred rich boy who had run away from home and was the other side of this particular team of

Rockets, stepped out beside Jessie.

"What we usually want." said James, raising his hand to point at the replete Pikachu. "Your Pokémon."

"No way!"cried Ash.

"No choice!" came another voice. Turning his head, Ash saw a blonde Rocket, with long bunches, throwing a smoke bomb. It

was Cassidy! Her green-haired partner Butch popped out of the bushes, threw another smoke bomb, and withdrew.

Since when did Butch and Cassidy work with Jessie and James? Ash thought, Then he realised the bomb must contain something other than smoke as his knees buckled and his eyelids drooped. Somewhere he heard Jessie and James cry out, but then his battle with the sleep gas in the bombs was lost, and he sank to the ground in a slumber.

When the smoke cleared, Butch and Cassidy surveyed the scene. Ash, Misty, Brock, Jessie, James, and Pikachu were all sprawled on the ground completely knocked out. An older member of Team Rocket drove a van over to the scene, and Butch and Cassidy quickly loaded the five sleeping humans and put Pikachu in a glass case.

"Poor Jessie and James!" laughed Cassidy. "I almost feel sorry for them! They thought we were going to work together to capture Ash and Pikachu, but they were just the decoy! Well, the boss agreed with our plan to humiliate Ash, but we need them for it!" They got in the front of the van, and were driven away.

Ash woke up securely fastened to something closely resembling a hospital bed. His first awareness was of a headache, then of a ravening hunger. He found this odd, as he'd recently eaten. A face suddenly came into view. It was Cassidy! Ash hadn't seen Cassidy very often, but, like Jessiebelle, you only had to see her once to see her once too often.

"Ah, good, you're awake. You need to eat to keep your strength up, after all, you've had to be sedated for the last three days."

"Three days?" cried Ash. No wonder he was hungry! He looked around.

"Where's Pikachu?"

"I'll bring him once you've eaten." Said Cassidy. She unstrapped his arms and waist, and helped him sit up. He noticed, to his dismay, that the straps on his legs were not only leather, but needed keys to be undone! Cassidy handed him a bowl of noodles-Ash was relieved she would let him feed himself-and he ate them hungrily.

"I want to see Pikachu!" he cried. Cassidy went out of the room, and came back with Pikachu, who had a leash of rubber and a copper wire wrapped around his waist.

"Pikachu!" cried Ash.

"Pika pika!" cried Pikachu. Pikachu tried to jump up, but Cassidy stopped him.

"Naughty naughty, jump up there and you won't be earthed anymore!" said Cassidy.

"You'll have to wait till I get you a longer length of copper wire next week!"

"Next week?" cried Ash. "How long are you going to hold me for? And what for?"

"Ah ah ah!" said Cassidy, laying her finger down her nose. "You'll be here as long as it takes, and what for would be telling!"

"Where are my friends?"

"They're perfectly safe. Shall I have you taken to them? They'll be back to sleep by now."

"Back to sleep?" he asked.

"Well, we don't want them causing trouble, Ash dear!" said Cassidy. "We sedated them again. We'd rather keep you awake and aware for your time with us, but we will sedate you if we have to. Now, lie down again, you have an injection to receive." She pushed him back down, and strapped down his right arm.

A scientist came over and gave him an injection in his arm. Ash expected to fall asleep again despite Cassidy's assurances, but instead she unstrapped his arm again, and went out. She came back with some books and colouring equipment.

"Don't want you to get bored."

"What are you going to do to us?" Ash cried.

"Ah ah, that would be telling!" said Cassidy. She walked out, taking Pikachu with her, leaving Ash on his own. He tried for half an hour to undo the leather straps pinning down his legs, but the thick straps and locks thwarted him, and all he ended up with for his efforts was a sweat.

Resignedly, he searched through the stuff that Cassidy had left, hoping for a sharp pair of scissors to attack the straps with, but

the only scissors he found were plastic bladed safety scissors that would only cut paper, and even the paper was cut badly. There was nothing else but paper, pencils, felts, and colouring pencils. Ash's time there followed a pattern.

He was given regular injections every week, and once a week was put to sleep, and allowed to wake after two days. Three days or so after this, he had blood taken, and had to give a urine sample on the same day before he was allowed to eat. This went on for several weeks.

To Ash's surprise, Cassidy kept her word and brought Pikachu in with a longer length of copper wire hanging from round its waist, long enough to still trail on the ground when Pikachu was up on Ash's lap. But Cassidy supervised these visits, not giving Ash a chance to take off the copper wire, which prevented Pikachu using his electric attacks. When she left, it left with her, pulled out on a rubber leash. However, fairly soon, Ash found out why they had him there.

"Congratulations!" said Cassidy, walking in and smiling.

"I don't see any reason to celebrate." Said Ash. "I'm still stuck here, having to see your ugly mug every day."

"You have no appreciation of real beauty and style! I suppose you're a Jessie fan are you?" she said.

"I've got better taste than that." Said Ash.

"Well, as I was saying, congratulations, Ash! You've finally conceived!"

"Con-what?" asked Ash "Conceived of what? An idea?"

"A baby!" cried Cassidy. "In six months, you should be giving birth! We knew earlier, but we wanted to be absolutely certain you weren't so likely to lose it! They say the first three months are the most dangerous, so we waited that long before telling

you!"

"WHAAAT!" But I'm a man!" cried Ash.

"No, you're just a little boy. However, one of our scientists has perfected a method of allowing male Pokémon to carry foetuses in their abdominal cavity, and he was just dying for a human subject to try it out on! We had to oblige him! We picked up egg and sperm donors at the same time!"

"So that's why you wanted Brock and Misty!" said Ash, feeling a bit ill.

"But won't the baby die anyway without the right hormones?"

"Well, that's what all the injections were about, but we've put an implant in so you won't have to have those any more! As for sperm and egg donors, Brock and Misty haven't finished developing yet, so we found a much more mature couple. I don't know whether Jessie and James will approve of the surrogate parent for their child, but their opinion doesn't count."

"I'm carrying Jessie and James's child! Eww!" said Ash, looking ill.

"Well, in six months you can go!" said Cassidy. "But till then, we'll be ensuring that the child is healthy. Is there anything I can do for you to make your stay more comfortable?"

"I want to see Brock and Misty!" said Ash. His head was spinning. He still couldn't quite believe he was actually pregnant.

"Sure thing!" Cassidy said. "Can't have you getting stressed in your condition!" She giggled, and left. Ash dropped his hand to his stomach. It didn't feel much different. A little firmer perhaps, but no more than that. Brock and Misty, followed by Cassidy, came in. Cassidy went back out, shutting the door, and they all heard her locking it.

"At least she's giving us some privacy." Said Brock. Misty threw her arms around Ash, and hugged him.

"Cassidy told us what's been done. How terrible for you!" Ash threw his arms around Misty, drawing strength from the hug. He was feeling very fragile and confused, and would have taken a hug from anyone at that point, even of it had been, Butch, Cassidy, Jessie, James, Meowth, or even the unknown Boss of the Rockets. At that point, the lock clicked, and the three turned to see the door opening. Jessie, James, and Meowth walked in, leading Pikachu by his rubber lead.

"Come on!" said Jessie. "Let's blow this joint!"

"Huh?" said the three friends in confusion.

"We're not letting Butch and Cassidy take on our baby!" said James. "We'd rather you looked after it then them! If you escape, they can't take it off you when you have it!"

"Okay, let's go! Let's not look a gift Pokémon in the mouth guys! Let's just go!" said Misty.

"Uh, just one problem." Said Ash. "I've got four locked leather straps on my legs." Jessie came over, and produced a key on a

chain from who-knew where. She laughed.

"I sort of bumped into Cassidy on my way here. She doesn't even know they're missing! I always was better than her in pocket-picking class!" She swiftly unlocked the straps, and Ash slipped off the bed, and had to be caught by Misty and Brock, as his legs had had so little exercise that they gave way.

After about ten minutes, however, he had regained his footing enough to move on. Jessie and James handed Pikachu's leash to Ash, and ran ahead and out of sight.. The three friends moved out of the room, but almost immediately ran into Butch and

Cassidy!

"How did you escape?" asked Cassidy. "You have to rest in your condition. We can arrange exercise for you as you will need it."

"Leave me alone!" Cried Ash. Misty bent down, and swiftly unwound the copper wire from Pikachu, and took the rubber leash off. Ash noticed. "Pikachu! Thunder attack!" he cried. Pikachu leaped towards Butch and Cassidy, his whiskers sparking.

"Pikaaaaa-chuuuu!" he cried, releasing the thunder attack. It struck Butch and Cassidy, who lit up like Christmas trees before

collapsing. At that point, Jessie and James returned, with their arms full of black, grey, and red clothing.

"Oh no! Not dirty laundry!" cried Brock.

"Don't worry, this is clean." Said James.

"It's going to take us a while to get out of here, and if you're in a Rocket installation and don't want to get stopped, you have to wear Rocket outfits." Said Jessie. She grabbed Misty by the shoulder.

"You'll change in here. I'll help you." She said, shoving her into an empty room. James steered Brock and Ash into another empty room. Ash, Brock, and Misty met up back in the corridor with Jessie and James five minutes later.

"Hey, Misty, you look so sexy like that!" said Brock. Misty pulled a face at him and raised her middle finger, but didn't comment. Misty took out the rubber leash and slipped it back over Pikachu's head.

"Sorry, but we've got to explain his presence." Said Jessie, loosely winding the copper wire around Pikachu's midriff again, but loosely enough that Pikachu could remove it if need be.

"If anyone asks, well, they know Ash is a captive, so we're just walking Pikachu." She took the handle of the leash, and Pikachu acquiesced, but sparked his cheeks angrily. They walked on. It did take them about thirty-five minutes to find their way out, and Ash had to accept that, judging by the amount of Rockets they saw on the way, they would have been stopped before they started had they been in their usual clothes (which Jessie was carrying in a shoulder bag.) At last, however, they got out, and Jessie and James helped Ash, Misty, and Brock into the balloon, which Meowth and another young Rocket had got ready.

Jessie and James introduced the unknown as Mondo, their behind-the-scenes boy.

"We'll take you back to your mother, we don't want our baby endangered." said Jessie.

"Well, as soon as possible, I want to get my own back on Butch and Cassidy!" said Ash. Jessie got a nasty look on her face.

"Don't worry, Ash." she said in so sweet a voice it belied her expression.

"We'll deal with Butch and Cassidy!" said James with a feral expression on his face. Jessie and James, true to their word,

dropped Ash, Brock , Misty and Pikachu off at Pallet, and then Ash went home. Professor Oak was home too.

"Hi Ash!" said his mother. "It's nice to have you back! Come in!" Before the three knew what was happening, they were sat at

the kitchen table with glasses of cola and a plate of cookies each. Ash raised his eyes to where his mother and Professor Oak were stood.

"Um, Mum, Professor Oak, could you sit down?" he asked. "I've got something to tell you."

After his mother and Professor Oak had got over the shock, and Ash had explained the how, his mother insisted on taking him first to a hospital to confirm the pregnancy, and then to register at an antenatal clinic. At the hospital, he got some odd looks from the staff, who dutifully smeared lubricating jelly on his stomach, and gave him an ultrasound scan. Ash thought he couldn't be shocked any more, but he was wrong.

"TWINS!" screamed Ash.

"I'm afraid so." Said the doctor, handing Ash a picture of the ultrasound. He looked it. There was definitely two babies in there.

"This sometimes happens with in vitro eggs. The failure rate is high, so several fertilised eggs are put in at a time. Sometimes only one survives, but sometimes several do. There have been cases of eight or nine embryos implanting, but that's unusual, and between two and four is the usual case.

"It could be worse." Said his mother. "It could have been quads."

"Don't even go there." Said Ash. After the hospital, it was to the antenatal clinic.

"You do need to go to these classes, Ash." Said his mother. "These will keep you and the babies healthy, thus giving them the best start in life." Ash cringed as he walked in with his mother and she registered him.

He got some odd looks, but gritted his teeth and attended his first session. His mother was some solace, attending with him, and some of the attendees obviously thought he was attending her, rather than the other way around. After the class, it was back to the hospital to book a date for the Caesarean. Ash found his lifestyle had to change. No longer could he charge around the country getting into Pokémon battles.

He had to stay in Pallet while his mother fussed over him, gave him more greens than he usually got in a week, handed him iron tablets, calcium tablets, folic acid tablets and a multivitamin, and basically fussed over him and told him anecdotes about her own pregnancy with him. In the meantime, Misty was persuaded to take hormones so she could provide the baby with breast milk when it was born. She moaned about it at first, but stopped moaning when it increased her bust size by two cup sizes within a month. After that, she was more insufferable than before.

As the months went by, Ash's stomach swelled and swelled.

"I feel like a Snorlax!" Ash moaned one morning as he struggled to get out of bed.

"Don't worry!" said Misty, who was going into town to get another new bra to accommodate her still-growing breasts. "Only

another week to go! Think how I feel! I've got to get breast pads because my breasts are leaking milk."

"I know how you feel about it! You don't let us forget!" said Ash.

"Well, at least I benefit in some way!" said Misty happily. At that moment there was a knock on the door. Ash's mother

answered it, and there were Jessie, James, and Meowth.

"We didn't miss it, did we?" asked Jessie, as Ash's mother invited them in, not sure what other course of action to take. She

brightened up as she saw Ash's bloated form.

"Good! As the child's mother. I insist on being present at the birth!"

"Hey, but I want to be there as the child's father!" said James.

"No, I'll be in there, as something cute and furry for him to stroke to release stress." Said Meowth.

"No way! You're too fluffy! The room will be as aseptic as possible, which discounts having a mangy Meowth in there!" said

Misty. "I'll be in there as a hand to hold and a friend's support."

"Hey, I think I should go in." said Brock. He's a bloke, he might prefer another man around."

"Stuff and nonsense!" said Mrs Ketchum. "I'm his mother! I should be there for him!"

"Hey, don't I get a say?" pleaded Ash. They all stopped bickering, while Jessie said

"The twerp does have a point. As the one giving birth, he should be given the choice." They all looked at him.

"I'm your friend, Ash, and I'll be providing the nourishment for your children!" said Misty.

"I'm your friend too, Ash." Said Brock.

"You and I go back all the way to Pewter!" said Jessie, putting her arm companionably about Ash's shoulders. "And I am the

mother!" Ash tried to edge away, but only succeeded in backing into James's embrace, as he crept up on Ash's other side.

"We go back at least as far, and I'm the father. It's a man thing."

"Meeowth! I'll sing da babies a lullaby!" said Meowth.

"I'll pass on that one, Meowth." Said Ash.

"I'm your mother, Ash, and I'm the only one of us all who knows what you're going through! I had to have a Caesarean!" said

his mother. "And you're only allowed one friend or relative present!"

"Well, there was no contest anyway." said Ash. "I want Mum in there with me. She has a point. She's the only other one of you

all who's ever been pregnant and given birth-unless there's something one of you lot aren't telling me." No-one spoke up.

"Well, that settles it, then!" said his mother.

On the day in question, of Team Rocket, only Meowth turned up at Ash's doorstep. "

So much for wanting to be around." Said Misty. "Only Meowth has bothered to come!" They made the trip to the hospital, Ash

was given an epidural, and his mother walked in with him, followed by two very familiar looking nurses, one with pink hair, one

with blue.

Misty, Brock, Meowth, and Professor Oak, who had turned up, had been waiting half-an hour, when a nurse rushed in.

"Does anyone here have type O blood? Your friend needs Type O, because that' s what he is, and we don't have enough in

stock. His mother's Type A so that won't do."

"I'm type O," said Oak. "So's my grandson Gary."

"Call him here, than and then come with us. We found two nurses with the right blood type too. With a pint from you and your

grandson, we'll have enough!" The doctor led Oak through to where Jessie and James were lying, with needles in their arms

attached to tubes which led to a rapidly-filling blood bag each. Oak was quickly put in the same position, as was Gary when he

turned up.

"Who would have thought I'd be helping out Ash!" he said, but both Oak and Mrs Ketchum knew he really did care about Ash, even if it was just so he could fight him another day.

The four resulting pints of blood were taken through to be given to Ash while Jessie, James, Professor Oak and Gary were given tea and biscuits. Half an hour later, Misty was sent in, and then another half-hour after that, Ash was brought out with two sleepy babies in his arms.

"What are they, boys or girls?" asked Jessie and James rushing over.

"One of each." Said Ash, allowing them to pick up a baby each.

"This girl has your hair, James!" said Jessie, holding up a girl with straight blue hair.

"The boy looks like you, Jessie!" said James, holding up a pink-haired boy with a thick curl both on his fringe and at the nape

of his neck.

"We won't know who got who's eyes for a while." Said Jessie. "Babies eyes are always blue at birth!"

"What are their names?" asked Brock.

"What else could I call them?" asked Ash with a laugh. "The boy's called Jesse, and the girl's Jamie!" To everyone's surprise, Jessie and James's eyes filled with tears at this unexpected acknowledgement of the babies parentage.

"Well, Team Rocket have a soft side after all!" said Ash.

"Of course!" said James. "We're evil, not insensitive!"

"But who's going to look after them?" asked Misty. "Ash won't want to suspend his Pokemon career for sixteen years, and I don't want to!"

"We would, but the Boss would never allow us to look after the babies!" said Jessie.

"Anyway, we wouldn't take them back to where Butch and Cassidy could get their hands on them! Especially after all the trouble we went to to get you away from them!" said James.

"Let me look after them once they're weaned, then!" said Ash's mum. "I know more about raising babies than all of you put

together, and you could all get on with your usual activities."

"Hey, Professor Oak, could you get hold of Muk and some of your Beedrills?" said Ash. "And Mum, those Rocket uniforms we came home in that you washed? Can you bring them tomorrow?"

"Well, sure, Ash!" said Professor Oak.

"Of course, but what for?" asked Ash's mother. Ash got an evil gleam in his eye.

"Well, I think it's time I introduced Butch and Cassidy to the Beedrills and Muk!" he said. I gotta score to settle!"

"We'll give you a hand!" said Jessie and James.

"What? Ash's group and Team Rocket working together?" chuckled Oak.

"Working for the same objective!" cried Jessie.

"To make Butch and Cassidy pay!" cried Ash.

"They had better prepare for trouble times five!" said James.

"The alliance is only temporary!" cried Misty.

"And we're only joining in because we're Ash's friends!" said Brock.

"Well, I guess I'd better pop home and do some cooking! You can't take revenge on an empty stomach!" said Mrs Ketchum.

Chuckling, she and Oak went home, to ready the asked for Pokemon and items to be brought in next day.


End file.
